My recovery journey is different and yet like many others. I never drank or did drugs, but I came to Lifeskills for my mental health.

I struggled with self-harm, and I had really bad anxiety, depression, and mood swings. My impulsivity was leading me down a terrible path, and I wasn’t making the best decisions in my life. Even though I didn’t use substances, I was doing dangerous things, acting recklessly, and I got into the wrong crowd. I was lying to my family for years, putting my mom through hell since I was 19. I endured a series of extremely traumatic events because of the people I was associating with, and I felt I had no one to talk to. I felt so alone and instead of getting help, I kept doing bad things that ultimately led to what I believe to be my rock bottom.

This was the turning point when I finally went to my mom and asked for help, as it hit me that I didn’t want to live this way anymore and I wanted my life back. My mom didn’t know what to do so she started the search for mental health treatment, and that’s when we found Lifeskills.

Starting the treatment journey

When I first got to treatment, I didn’t feel like I was at the right place because I felt like my problems weren’t as big as everyone else’s. I was so scared that first week – I felt like the new girl at school, and I didn’t fit in. Around week 2 or 3, I started to open up in groups and that’s when I realized that when you share your story, you start to realize how much you have in common with others and how much you can relate, even with different problems and diagnoses.

One thing I told myself that helped me open up was that my mom sent me to treatment for a reason and I came to accept it because I knew I needed help. I had two options: sit there, don’t participate, and stay miserable OR open up, get to the root of the issue, and create a better future for myself. The choice was easy. I decided to do it for myself. Going into Lifeskills was the best thing my mom could have made me do.

The healing influence of a treatment family

I started at PHP in July 2023, and I completed 2 months at that level of care before stepping down to IOP, where I stayed for close to 3 months. Lifeskills changed my life. It showed me I have a purpose, and I learned so much during my 5 months there.

There are 3 members of the Lifeskills staff that impacted me the most:

Celin, my primary therapist. Celin stuck with me through it all and made me feel like I could speak without being judged. I’ve been through so many therapists in the past, to the point where I didn’t trust working with female therapists. When I came to Lifeskills, I was assigned to Celin and it ended up being the best thing that could have happened. She understood me and knew exactly how to calm me down when I would have my anxiety attacks.

Jessie, my family therapist. I had to be vulnerable and speak in front of my family, and Jessie made me feel comfortable doing that. She didn’t shut me down or side with my parents every time, which I had gotten from therapists in the past. She would validate all of us and help us figure out how to better our relationships as a whole. The fact I still see her to this day says a lot. She has helped me so much, and I feel like I’m able to reach out to her whenever I need to talk about something, and she’s always there for me. I got to see her on the day of my one year, and she was so thoughtful and made it very special for me. She makes me feel so comfortable when I’m in her office.

Dani, the alumni relations coordinator. Even though I didn’t see her every day, on the days I did see her, her presence was definitely felt in the building. Whenever I heard her voice, I would get so excited because she is such a people person, and she can make anybody feel comfortable around her. She was like a best friend because while she wasn’t my therapist, I trusted her. To this day, whenever something comes up, she’s the first person I think of telling. She’s like a big sister I never had. I remember she planned out a whole day for us one weekend, and we played volleyball and games all day long, that was such a core memory for me that I’ll never forget. Knowing Dani and learning more about her “why” reassured me, made me feel better about my situation, and helped me feel like I fit in.

Navigating life after treatment

While the transition from Lifeskills to post-treatment was difficult, what helped me the most was staying consistent with the routine I had developed. I continued journaling, and I would write down when I was having a bad day and what I did after the fact to help make my day better. I reached out to my support system. I focused on myself, my family, and my work, and stayed focused on my goals.

I still struggle a lot with anxiety, but I’ve been working on my relationship with my mother, which is amazing considering we didn’t have a relationship when I was going into Lifeskills. I still see Jessie as my therapist. I still reach out to other people and stay in touch with the Alumni Community, which is so helpful because others reply so quickly. I work a fulfilling job where I get to make a difference. I’m able to help others, give feedback, and pass on the wisdom I learned at Lifeskills. I choose not to hide what I went through anymore because I know it can help other people, and I say yes to service opportunities and share my story whenever I can. I remind myself how far I’ve come and how much I love my life.

Advice to families and loved ones

Too many questions can be overwhelming. Let your loved one in treatment know you’re proud of them for taking this step to get better, that you love them and are always there for them. Express how you are feeling and try not to be too overbearing. We understand the families/parents are learning too; oftentimes, all we want to hear back is that we are understood.

It took time for me to come around and accept that it was my whole family that needed to heal. At first, I didn’t care about my family processing my issues or being involved in my treatment because I thought it was all about me; I was the one who was in treatment. But I learned that we all had to heal if we wanted to break the cycle of codependence and start having healthy relationships.

I appreciate all my mom did for me and the fact she tried to protect me by doing everything for me that I couldn’t do for myself. I used to think my mom could get me out of every situation I could find myself in—until I learned I needed to start doing things for myself. I needed to learn things on my own, I needed the trials and tribulations, and I needed to make mistakes in order to learn from them.

We’ve been able to slowly build trust. At times, I get frustrated by how slow the progress has been, but I have to remind myself it takes time. I tried to give my mom grace because I was lying for 6 years. Now, we try to have open communication, we speak frequently, and we try to validate each other’s experiences. We’re not perfect, but we’re trying to be better. I recognize I put her through a lot, and I try to hold space for her to feel and process that, even now.

Advice to people in treatment

If you’re scared of being honest with your clinical team out of fear that your stay will be lengthened, I get it—because I used to be afraid of this too. You might think these people are against you, but they’re not. The therapists and staff want what’s best for you and any lengthened stay or extra time will be better for you in the long run.

Everyone at Lifeskills was amazing. A phrase I heard that helped me and hopefully can help you: “Don’t focus on the time, try to focus on the journey”. The more you put in, the better it’ll be for you and the more you’ll get out of this process. You’ve got this!